From Writing Retreat to Accidental Social Butterfly

My plan for the two house sits were simple. Three peaceful weeks on the beautiful shores of Lake Constance. Time to think, write, update the workbook, sort the website, and generally catch up on all the things that had been quietly piling up while I’d been busy cycling up hills and harvesting cucumbers.

Peace and productivity, with cats for company.  That was the plan.

Week one went almost exactly as intended. I genuinely enjoyed the quiet, the lovely house, the two cats and the absence of 5:15am alarms. I updated Solo in Six following feedback from the first readers. The content stayed largely the same because the feedback on that was reassuringly positive, but I added some photos, reordered a few pages, and replaced the book cover, which I had originally made in a tremendous hurry using AI and which looked, on reflection, exactly like something made in a tremendous hurry using AI. It now has a photo of me on it instead. I think it's an improvement. I've included both versions here. Let me know which you prefer.

So far, so productive.

Then week two arrived.

I hadn't spoken to an actual human being in person for several days. A few calls with family, a lot of time with the cats, and a growing awareness that "peaceful solitude" and "loneliness" can start to feel remarkably similar after about ten days.

So I did something about it. I put a post on a Facebook travel group asking for suggestions on how to meet people when you're somewhere temporarily and don't know anyone. The response was fantastic. Dozens of ideas, recommendations, and encouragement from women all over the world.

I picked a few and decided to just try them.

First, I downloaded an app called Meet5 and found a group of women going to a local pottery festival. I joined them. We looked at pottery. There were lots of cups, plates, bowls and a few more interesting pieces (see photo below). We went for food and drinks afterwards, and by the end of the evening I had new friends.

Then I said yes to a Discofox dancing event in a nearby town, which, if you're not familiar, is a German partner dance. It’s similar to Ceroc dancing that I do when I’m at home, but with footwork that doesn’t actually go in time with the music! I’m not sure what that’s about!

One of the other people going even offered to pick me up and take me home afterwards, which was brilliant. We then picked up two other guys on the way, meaning I had met three people before I'd even reached the event.

By the time we arrived, I was perfectly comfortable asking them to dance and attempting to learn the steps. It was a really lovely evening and I danced the night away.

I also went for a brisk evening walk with seven ladies in a village called Salem. Luckily, one of the ladies had been married to a Brit for 30 years, so spoke fluent English and we chatted all the way round.

And then the best discovery of all. A friend of a friend that happened to live nearby. We went for a curry and then wine at a bar with live music, and then realised that her daughter knows my nieces and that my sister is her daughter's handball coach. Small world, as they say.

I also had pizza at a wonderfully authentic little Italian restaurant with some friends of my sister's, followed by ice cream by the lake whilst the sun set.

By the end of the third week, I had a full social life, which had not been the original plan at all.

So I collected all the suggestions people sent me and I realised I had more than fifty different ideas for how to meet people when you're travelling solo as a woman over 45. Everything from becoming a regular face at the same café, to asking local farmers if they need a hand for a few hours. I put them all together into a free PDF, which is now sitting on a new Free Resources page on my website: Free Resources — Unescorted

I’d only tried a handful of those suggestions myself. It had worked brilliantly. I now have my own friends in Überlingen - people I can call the next time I visit my sister. I did not expect that when I arrived.

I also gave the website a new look. I hope it looks smarter, more modern and a bit more feminine. Have a look and tell me what you think.

And I set up a Pinterest account. Pinterest was agony. I did not enjoy it. Learning a new platform while simultaneously trying to understand why my pins weren't appearing where I'd put them was a very frustrating way to spend a day. But it's done, the pins exist, and I'm hopeful that people will find their way to the blogs and free resources through it. I'm also hoping that I haven't accidentally pinned my entire life story to a board called "Stylish Autumn Nail Art".

Today I'm tidying my sister's house before they return this evening from Guatemala and El Salvador, and I'm looking forward to hearing about their trip almost as much as I'm looking forward to getting back on the road myself.

In a few days, I'm heading to Kitzbühel to hunt down that elusive creature known as affordable winter season accommodation. From there I'm flying to Tbilisi, Georgia and looking forward to staying in a female-only hostel for the first time.

I came here to write. Which I did. I produced a free PDF about meeting people, I updated my website, created a Pinterest account, and managed an unexpectedly full social calendar.

Not quite the plan. But very decent none-the-less.