How to Meet People When Travelling Alone
I'm currently sitting in a very quiet house near Lake Constance, looking after a couple of cats and the tomato and butternut squash plants in the garden. And I'll be honest…it's got a bit boring, as I’m temporarily living somewhere where I don't know anyone.
No hostel common room. No fellow volunteers. No friends to visit. Just me, the cats, and the dawning realisation that "quiet time to write" is considerably more appealing in theory than in practice when it stretches into week two. I had been looking forward to it, as when I’m back home I enjoy the solitude. But it’s dawned on me that’s because I still have friends to go out with for lunch and dance events I can attend in the evenings (Ceroc if you’re interested). But staying put in one place where you don’t know anybody is completely different.
So I’ve decided to be proactive about meeting people. I’m not necessarily looking to make a load of new best friends or spend every waking hour with other people. I just want to meet interesting people and see what happens.
So, as nobody is going to knock on my door and invite me out, I have to go and find people myself. Here’s what I’m going to try, along with a few things that have worked for me on my travels before.
1. Ask your network before you even arrive
This is the most underused trick in solo travel and it costs nothing. Before you go anywhere, post something simple on Facebook, WhatsApp, Insta, or wherever your people actually are. Ask if anyone knows anyone in the area. You'll be surprised how often someone does.
I'm currently hoping to meet a friend of a friend here in Überlingen. We've never met. We have one mutual connection and we're essentially about to have a blind friendship date. This is completely normal in solo travel and usually produces either a lovely afternoon or at the very least a decent story.
The worst anyone can say is no. Or not reply. Which is essentially the same as no!
2. Invite someone to join you
Who says solo travel means spending the entire trip alone?
If you're somewhere for a while, invite a friend to come and stay for a few days. You still have your own adventure. You just have someone to share part of it with, and someone to go for dinner with on a Wednesday when you've run out of things to say to the cat.
One important note if you're house sitting: always check with your host first. Some agreements have rules about guests and it's their home, not yours. Don't assume it's fine just because you'd be perfectly happy about it yourself.
3. Facebook groups, but use them properly
There are groups specifically designed for this that are really worth knowing about.
Host a Sister connects solo female travellers with local women who'll meet for coffee, show you around, or simply provide some human company for an afternoon. It works exactly as it sounds and the response rate is genuinely good.
Beyond that, look for local expat groups, destination-specific travel groups, or women's travel groups generally. Search for things like solo female travellers, women over 50 travelling, expats in [your location], hiking groups in [your location] etc. And when you find them, actually post something rather than just lurking.
"I'm in X for two weeks, travelling solo, looking for recommendations or anyone who fancies a coffee."
Simple. Effective. And considerably less awkward than you might imagine.
Facebook Post I’ve just written - I got a response within 2 minutes 😁
4. Try Meetup
Meetup is specifically designed around bringing people together around shared interests, which makes it considerably less terrifying than cold-approaching strangers in a café.
Search for things you'd actually enjoy, like hiking groups, book clubs, photography walks, language exchanges, board games, running clubs. The activity gives you something to talk about, which removes most of the awkwardness of meeting new people. You're not there to make friends. You're there to do the thing. The friends are a bonus.
5. Join something with a regular schedule
A single walking tour is lovely. But if you want to actually meet people rather than just stand near them for ninety minutes, better to join something that repeats.
A weekly or bi-weekly dance class. A language exchange evening. A yoga class. A running group. Anything where you'll see the same faces more than once, because that second or third encounter is where conversation actually starts.
I’ve found a local West Coast Swing class I’m going to try out. I don’t need to bring a partner and I’m hoping competence is not required. And the first two times are free 😊
6. Use your existing hobbies
One of the benefits of getting older is having accumulated a fairly ridiculous number of interests. Use them.
I cycle, so cycling routes naturally put me around other cyclists. If you walk, find a walking group. If you love photography, find a photography meetup. If you read, find a book club. If you speak another language, find a language exchange.
You don't have to reinvent yourself just because you're somewhere new. Your existing interests are actually some of your best social tools, and they'll connect you with people who already have something in common with you.
7. Become a regular somewhere
This is particularly useful when you're staying somewhere for more than a few days.
Find a café you like and go back. Visit the same market. Walk the same route. Become a recognisable face somewhere.
You don't make friends with the first person you meet. But after seeing the same people a few times, conversation can start naturally. There's a significant difference between walking into a café as a stranger and walking in to have someone say "oh, hello again!" It's a small thing, but those small things add up.
8. Find the right café or bar
Not all of them are equal for this.
A large, busy café where everyone is staring at a laptop is not the place. A smaller place with communal tables, a bar you can sit at, or staff who have time to talk - that's a different story.
The key is choosing somewhere that makes accidental conversation possible rather than awkward. Order something that takes a while and stay long enough for something to happen. If you're in and out in ten minutes, nothing will.
9. Look for local events
Most places have more going on than you'd think. The trick is knowing where to look.
Local Facebook pages, tourist information boards, hostel noticeboards, and Eventbrite are all worth checking. Look for free walking tours, outdoor markets, festivals, open air cinema, pub quizzes, community sports, open mic nights. (This weekend, I’m heading to a local pottery market).
Free walking tours in particular are excellent as you're immediately in a small group. The format gives you something to talk about, and there's almost always a natural post-tour moment where people drift towards a nearby café together. I've met genuinely interesting people on walking tours in cities where I didn't know a single soul. And the conversation starter practically writes itself: "where are you from?" followed by "how long are you here for?" gets you remarkably far. I met two ladies in Quito, Ecuador on a walking tour, and we spent the next few days together touring the area together.
10. Be realistic about where you are
A city gives you options. A small village gives you character, a nice view, and probably not much else on a Tuesday evening.
If you're house sitting or staying somewhere remote, plan around it. Schedule your quiet stretch between more social sections of your trip, or make regular day trips into the nearest town. I'm currently in a small lakeside town that's lovely but not exactly buzzing with spontaneous social opportunity. I've adjusted my expectations accordingly.
Managing expectations isn't admitting defeat. It's just being sensible.
11. Hostels are still the easiest answer
For meeting people with almost no effort, nothing else comes close.
You don't have to stay in a twelve-bed dormitory as many hostels now offer private rooms while still having common areas, kitchens, and organised social events. The infrastructure is built in. You can opt in or out depending on how you feel.
If you're going through a boring or quiet patch, booking even two or three nights in a hostel can reset the whole thing remarkably quickly.
12. Say yes more often
This might be the most important one, and also the easiest to talk yourself out of.
Someone on a walking tour says they're grabbing a coffee after. Go. Someone in your class asks if you'd like to join them. Go. Someone you've just met mentions they're visiting the market tomorrow. Go.
I'm not suggesting abandoning common sense or ignoring your instincts, as solo women, we still think about safety, always. But there's a real difference between being sensibly cautious and automatically saying no because accepting an invitation from a stranger feels slightly outside your comfort zone.
Some of the best experiences I've had travelling have come from saying yes to something I nearly didn't.
The honest summary
You can't guarantee you'll meet your new favourite person on Tuesday afternoon. But you can put yourself in situations where meeting people is much more likely.
I've got a dance class lined up, a friend of a friend to meet, maybe a passing cyclist, a walking tour on the list, and I'm going to look into inviting a friend to come and stay for a few days.
And if none of the above appeals, there's always the cats. They’re not much for conversation, but at least they’re consistent.
